The Folks Press almanac is a compendium of the people and things, language and concepts, objects and curiosities, images and illustrations, philosophies and taxonomies, mysteries and demystification, florilegium and marginalia, stories and fables and myths, that we have unearthed, stumbled upon, or just plain made up along the way, like kids with their crayons. Feel free to read through the almanac or to click on the links.
To follow the rabbit holes, unfurling further mysteries. That is our quest.
1. current Folks Press weekly consisting of short anecdotes.
Alchemist: Recipies for 21st Century Ailments, The
1. recipes from the guru of modern living; first published 5/2015.
Banking On The Busker
1. a street musician's day at the office. Save the hippies! First published 7/2013.
bink-bink girl \'biŋk\
1. a female, usually young, walking in public with a large cell phone in her open palm. Often accompanied by a short skirt and high heels that promote a staccato-like gait and make a sound of “bink bink bink” when walking. Ex: After Trish's bachelorette party, it was like a total bink-bink fest, parading down Burnside.
1. An alarming architectural trend in the early 2000s in which massive, sun-blocking buildings--a bleak stylistic marriage between Soviet-era barracks and an Ikea bookshelf--are thrown up in otherwise quiet, residential neighborhoods. (See blöckenstöck block) Ex: "Hey, did you wait in line at that new pork bistro Cobbler?" "The one in the new Blöckenstöcks on Southeast Division? Dude, I looked for it for hours, but couldn't tell one Blöckenstöck from the other, so I went to Crumble instead"
blöckenstöck block \'blök-en-stök\
1. a Blöckenstöck smothering an entire block or greater. Also, any long series of Blöckenstöcks. (See blöckenstöck) Ex: "Wow, can you believe that the size of that Blöckenstöck Block? It's like a tsunami of ugly.
1. quasi-absurdist photo-essay; first published 2/2013.
dawg call \'däg\
1. to hold out your phone at arm’s length and swear or yell into it. Thereby, preventing the person on the other end from responding, and forcing them to take the abuse.
Eulogy for a Bridge Jumper
1. stills-video about a brief but not forgotten relationship; first published 7/2013.
1. photo-essay about the lawns of Portland; first published 5/2013.
Featured Attractions 2
1. more of Portland's finest in yard sculpting; first published 7/2013.
Featured Attractions 3
1. even more Portland wackiness; first published 10/2013.
Featured Attractions 4
1. the beauty of difficulty; first published 1/2014.
game of scones \'skōn\
1. synonymous with the popular British series Downton Abbey. 2. any costume drama, usually of the polite British variety, in which a battle over the laws of inheritance figures prominently in the plot. Ex: OMG, last night when Dame Agatha glared at Lord Cedric over the whist table about whether Miss Lucy would inherit Suckling Park, that was sooooo Game of Scones!
1. a walk through the gaudy world of nocturnal Christmas decor; first published 1/2012.
hungry man on a tall bike
1. "Like a hungry man on a tall bike." An expression. Finding oneself in a tough situation, wherein what you immediately need is difficult to accomplish. Ex: "Dude, how was your first date with that girl." "Oh, man, like a hungry man on a tall bike: she's moving away. Bummer."
jolly decibel \'de-s∃- ˌbel, -b∃l\
1. a sudden, even violent, uptick in the volume of happy voices in a public place. Ex: "I can't hear you over the jolly decibel."
1. Folks Press's resident animated columnist. Lester can be found reporting in Opposite Day; first seen 11/2012.
Missing Mayor, The
1. magazine article featuring a brish with the "Mayor of Portland," a portland based homeless man who has disappeared; first published 12/2012.
1. an era spent moment after moment in a drawer; first published 12/2013.
My Brilliant Career: A Few Ideas
1. fantasy employment; first published 5/2014.
muse attack \myooz\
1. the terrible, beautiful surge of creative inspiration, good ideas, and general brilliance bestowed upon a person—often in a most inconvenient place, sometimes over a duration of time. Generally accompanied by a sense of urgency and need to capture the ideas before they disappear, or before more new inspiration overwhelms the last. Ex: "She was riding her bike in the pouring rain up a steep hill and was already late to meet her date, but she kept having to stop and scrounge around her purse for receipts and tiny scraps of paper to write down ideas for her novel. The rain caused her pen to write poorly and her paper to tear, and still the ideas from this muse attack caused her novel to become a bestseller."
Noah's Wanderlust - The Beginning
1. the first installment of the Folks Press Interview Project with Portland creative scene staple Noah Mickens and host Leo Daedalus; first published 3/2014. (See Mickens, Noah; Deadalus, Leo; Exodus To Portland)
1. Folks Press serial starring Lester, out animated columnist.
Postmodern Matriarch, A
1. feature story in Folks Press Magazine about the unofficial boss of the Falcan Arts apartment; first published 12/2012. 2. well-aged, no-nonsense, eminently formidable take on an age-old station(See Peaden, Martha)
1. a person who regularly finds words or expressions in the English language insufficient to express his or her thoughts and, thus, coins new ones. Ex: "I was walking by this group of binks talking at a jolly decibel about the latest Game of Scones in front a Blockenstok, when I had a total Muse Attack and had to write a song about it right there on the pavement!" "Wow, you are such a Quipper. You are worse than Shakespeare."
Shadowing Phinney Ridge
1. photo-film and poem tribute to Phinney Ridge, the locale and fauna; first published 10/2013.
They Walk Among Us
1. cover article about the now defunct Safari Club, a taxidermy themed bar, and our relationship to animals; first published 1/2013.
truck anomaly \ə-'nä-mə-lē\
1. A large pickup truck, such as Ford F series, in which something incongruous accompanies it. Typically, bumper stickers that read "Coexist," "Save Gas: Ride a motorcycle." Or it might be incongruous music being played, like opera, etc… Ex: I totally saw a truck anomaly the other day! This bro was blasting Mozart and his "other car was a broom". What what?
Under The Auspices of Birds
1. cover feature about a flock of bird watchers and the swifts' dusk antics; first published 12/2013. (See Vaux's Swift)
Ups and Downs
1. experiencing Union Way's vintage elevator; first published 3/2014.
1. Chaetura vauxi, a small species of swift found in flocks of 30 or more individuals (See Under The Auspices of Birds )
Xerces Society, The
1. nonprofit orginization dedicated to the worldwide preservation of invertibrates (See Relating To The Spineless )